PWP 160: Iyaz’s ‘Honey’ notes

This episode of “Podcast Without Pretense” will be available at GFQNetwork.com

  • Universal pictures
  • We start with some hip-hop music. Flying around NYC (Manhattan)
  • We’re at a club
    • Jessica Alba is a bartender
    • Like many movies, characters can hear each other in a club without anyone yelling
    • JA is dancing behind the bar
    • i’m already bored. 2:25 in
    • JA goes to the dance floor after her shift ended at 11.
    • Rival! Katrina. Does this happen in clubs? Do you bring a dance crew with you? Acc’g to some dance movies, yes.
    • JA dances with two girls. People are not looking at Katrina and this makes K mad.
    • Katrina is at least 40. JA does a dance move on the club floor. I’m surprised the floor isn’t covered in spilled drinks
    • Katrina bumps in JA as she walks. Katrina makes mention she is paid to dance. JA’s friend gets mad and pulls K’s hair
      • you can’t be wilding out in there. (is this how people talk?)
    • outside the club, break dancing and beat boxing. JA and Gina walk up to them. two kids are also there b/c in this world Benny is up at 11 behind a club in manhattan.
    • JA shows the kids behind the club mad crazy props, yo.
    • “Your flavor’s hot.” says JA. JA teaches hip hop at the “centa” b/c she has an accent.
    • the kids are told to scurry by security
  • Next day – at E 154 street.
    • 8:04, i check the time again. Seriously. WTF. WHy does this movie suck so hard already?
    • time for dance class. everyone is already in step. *notification popped up: 8:51
    • she’s a caring teacher.
    • OH NO. those break dancing kids are here! they are all going to dance together.
      • breaking down the dance is just calling out numbers and showing the moves.
      • the BDK says he’s schooling JA (who i don’t think has an official name yet — I think a guy called her “Honey.”)
    • Still at the center
      • the center boss says JA should do ballet to make money
      • Honey must be her actual name b/c they capitalize the H in the captions.
      • her mom is the center boss.
  • Dance auditions, i guess
    • “Honey Daniels” is her actual name. The open auditions are over, Honey gets bounced.
  • OVer to the music shop. B/c that was a thing. She works at Crazy Louie’s.
    • a video of honey dancing at the club is playin on all kinds of tvs at michael ellis productions . SCAN LINE CITY.
  • To the club — Ellis asks Honey to dance for him
    • Honey rejects the guy b/c she thinks Ellis is a scammer
    • now Ellis gives the card to explain who he is AFTER Honey’s friend Gina explained he’s probably the real deal.
  • Back to Crazie Louie’s
    • Honey calls Ellis. She leaves a message.
  • Back to the center. they dancing hard. Mekai Pfiefer hits on Alba? Legit wants to know moves. I don’t know. I don’t care.
    • JA is now mopping up.
  • NOw on W156th. THe little kid walked accross town? Maybe I saw the wrong street number earlier.
    • little kid is told to leave by his older brother (?) A bunch of kids head to a convertable to procure drugs i assume
  • Meanwhile at the Hall of Honey…
    • Ellis called back
  • Over to Silvercup studios
    • it’s a whirlwind for Honey. she’s sent ot make up. they’ve straightened out her hair and oiled her up. it’s a good luck. She watches for a little and picks up the moves
    • Ellis doesn’t like the dance moves — they look too choreographed he says. Ellis wants Honey to work with the girls. The choreographer doesn’t like her.
    • Ellis is going to try something. Choreographer doesn’t like it. Ellis wants Honey to dance like she’s at a club. She grabs a guy and dances with him. Eliis says to follow Honey’s lead.
    • 24:12 — bored. 2nd screen time. 
    • I hate Alba’s accent. (it also seems inconsistent)
  • Notes will diminish now
    • alba received a check for $9.4k. That’s a good amount
    • she’s headed to a charity thing with Ellis.
    • my only solace is that in 20 minutes, i’m working out. yaaay. 
    • To Papi Chulo’s where Ellis and Alba were not on a date, but they are, right?
      • Genuine (sp) recognizes Honey from her first video. Honey is the choreographer for Genuine — Ellis did not talk to Alba about this b/c she is so plainly shocked.
  • Okay — so does Alba only have accent when she is outside?
  • to the barbershop — mikai phfiefer (no idea how to spell that) is a barber
    • “we peoples” (bc Honey isn’t the kid’s mom). DO PEOPLE TALK LIKE THIS? DID THEY?
    • the barber asks Honey out. Little kid is pimping Honey out, I think.
    • so much slang in this movie. Chaz is MP’s name. good, b/c i can spell that.
  • I know they are showing locations so we know we’ve moved from one place to another, but it happens so frequently that it seems like a commercial break.
  • To the little kid’s home.
    • his mom is mean, it’s loud at home.
  • W156th deli, drugs again. Honey watches.
  • Choreography time — seems slow AF
    • honey steals some moves from double dutch. she comes up with new moves for the shoot. now basketball inspired.
  • Alba is woken up by Gina
    • when Alba is woken up, she has no accent.
    • Alba offers a Dolce dress, but Gina is annoyed b/c it is a left over from a shoot
    • Gina is giving Alba shit for not wanting to go out for Gina’s birthday dress.
  • Little kid meets Alba outside of her place. TIme to find benny – benny got busted up by mom’s guy
    • The search is on
    • Benny is found eating at a resturant. Alba has no accent when she says “If you don’t want to kick it..”
  • Another shoot with Tweet (?)
    • this is the music video portion
    • Benny is bummed — says the world sucks and then we die (mostly)
  • 47:59 in. Time to workout. Now seeing 46:04 remain and I don’t know if i’ll bother to finish this
  • back to the movie 40 minutes later
  • JA pitches a video concept to Ellis
    • “their flavor is hot” ELLIS IS TURNED ON BY THIS. Okay, no.
    • open calls for Ginuwine’s video.
    • Honey sees the drug dealer — she looks at him and leads him to a straight and narrow path. angels sing and we move on.
      • Nah, the dealer threatens Honey. B.B is the thug. Chaz comes to save Honey
      • they offer each other job opportunities. that was nice of them.
    • Chaz warns that BB is dangerous. This love story between Chaz and BB is great. I mean Chaz and Honey. Honey, goes up the stairs and trips. She’s paralyzed and she can never dance again.
  • The center is closed due to overall shittiness. Pipe burst. You can’t teach dance anywhere else.
  • JA talks to Chaz. Her accent is back. Mildly southern. They are on a date. To the barbershop!
    • Chaz tells the story of how he found Christ. I mean the barbershop.  A dead guy gave it to him.
    • Chaz makes a move. The barber chair is turned on by this.
  • Honey comes upon commercial property for sale. The phone number is obviously a fake. And it’s got a 718 area code. Queens?
    • Honey is going to open her own barbershop. I’m calling it.
    • $170k. She shows up to the bank and tries to buy it. Do banks work like this? Give half now and “give me 30 days to come up with the rest?” does she know this banker? are they friends? I need an adult to explain this to me.
  • Dance auditions – Honey’s kids are dancing for Ellis.
  • Back to Honey’s place
    • Honey has to go to a “wack meeting” instead of going to Atlantic City.
    • “You wild out.” WAS THIS EVER LANGUAGE? SLANG? I DON’T KNOW.
    • WHAT’S WITH THE THREADS? she says to Ellis.
    • Honey is concerned that she cancelled on Gina’s birthday party to go to a party (she thought it was a meeting)
    • 34 minutes left.
    • Honey has no idea that Ellis is into her. She is dense. Now he’s making his move. She says stop and slaps him. *to be fair, his move was grope-y
      • “bitch, how you gon’ play me like this?”
      • Ellis thinks Honey owes him something. he’s so mad he hits the pool balls on the pool table.
      • Honey is very nice by saying “you’re drunk” and walks away. she says “i’m gonna pretend none of this ever happened.”
  • Dance time. ANother fucking video
    • Ellis drives in. Kids dance for a second, Ellis calls for a cut. He says it’s not working. He says he wants it to be more sexy. He whistles to the car.
      • KATRINA IS HERE! THEY PECK HELLO.
      • “I want you to just listen and move.” — Ellis to Katrina (same as he said to Honey)
      • did Honey not get phone numbers from other artists? she can get a job elsewhere, right?
      • Honey has to fire the kids. Benny blames Honey and is a debbie downer. Fuck you, benny.
      • Katrina gyrates. 
  • To the subway… i don’t think i’ve ever seen a subway car like the one in this movie padded seats. Benny is asked to steal a kid’s shoes.
    • the lights go out on the subway, Benny is running with shoes up the stairs.
  • dance audition — JA has forgotten how to dance. she looks bored. her name is crossed out from the legal pad. Honey is killed.
  • Honey and Chaz at the park.
    • Chaz builds up Honey. Honey is bummed that she doesn’t have that money.
  • Back to the streets
    • a kid is wearing the shoes Benny boosted.
    • Benny is selling drugs to some guy. BUSTED! it’s the man! music intensifies and Benny is arrested. 
      • Somewhere Katrina is gyrating. 
  • at the bank — Honey explains she needs more time. the banker says, it’s off the market for 2 weeks
  • She goes to her parents house
    • her mom essentially says that even if they had money, they wouldn’t give it to her
    • mom says “you’re 22 years old, you don’t know what you want.”
      • mom is right.
  • Honey heads home and sees a piece of paper taped to her door “Hope you had a good MEETING” on the back is a picture of honey in the newspaper being kissed by Ellis. Honey heads to Gina’s to talk.
    • Honey apologizes to Gina. Gina breaks a bottle and attacks Honey. Honey rips out Gina’s throat with her bare teeth.
    • Gina thinks that she would go with Honey as she moved up. But then she realized, that’s not happening
    • hug. all is good
  • Chaz and Honey walking. She’s trying to figure out how to make the money. she realizes this is a dance movie, so she should have a fundraiser. Chaz has an idea for a venue. An empty church is Honey’s option. Glad that Chaz just so happened to have this problem solved in under 3 minutes.
    • Somewhere Katrina is gyrating.
  • To the church
    • explaisn to the kids what’s going on. they clean up the place – MONTAGE TIME! putting up flyers. Honey hugs everybody and gets to put flyers everywhere else. People dance. Honey gets a check from the Bronx business something
    • Dad Daniels is helping.
    • the banker is given a flyer.
  • to the jail!
    • benny walks in to see Honey. Honey was arrested for killing Gina earlier.
    • Benny is an idiot. but he’s a kid, kids are dumb.
  • Ellis & Missy Elliot
    • Missy is upset about Katrina. Katrina is NOT gyrating right now.
    • Missy wants Honey
    • And Katrina gyrates for Missy. It didn’t work for her. 
    • Elliot says for K to call MC hammer b/c K stole his stuff. Missy wants Honey, dammit.
  • Ellis finds Alba walking. How? New York is very small.
    • Ellis begs Honey to work for him again.
    • she turns Ellis down at first. Ellis says he’ll pay. she says she doesn’t want his money.
    • Ellis says, if you work for me, i’ll buy your dance studio for you.
      • FUCK. “when i met you, you were 10 feet tall, when i look at you, you’re this [fingers together closely] big”
      • she turns him down again
    • Benny broke out of jail? he’s at the church.
    • dance practice again
  • Does anyone know how this dance benefit works? If they dance poorly, do they get less money? Is it watch the thing and then pay?
    • Banker & Gina walk in.. Banker BROUGHT IN RICH PEOPLE WITH HER. THIS IS VERY FUCKING CONVENIENT. NEW YORK IS SO SMALL.
    • Mom daniels continues to be zzzz-worthy. Dad daniels refues to tell her where they are going
      • plot twist, they have a bull dozer to destroy Honey’s potential place
    • Okay — so it’s time for the benefit. Honey tell the audience “dancing good. kids good. gimme money please.” she eyefucks her mom for second.
    • Chaz and Honey’s relationship has moved forward.
    • Music starts and my dog is confused out of her sleep.
    • dance time
      • the song says shit like “i believe i can” “my dreams are real” “i believe i’ll dance” i believe i’ll gro real soon.
      • “your goals are just a thing in your soul.”
      • subtlety is not Honey’s thing
      • they are still dancing. this song continues. NEW SONG!
      • Honey might want to go into party planning b/c this benefit is organized relatively well. lighting, sound machines, chair rentals. costumes with airbrushed names. Matching costumes.
      • OLD SONG BACK
      • Benny’s mean mom is enjoying the show.
      • show’s over. i hope.
    • audience claps. crackhead mom is cured. honey hugs chaz. preformers chant for honey. she comes on stage. well, she shows up
    • the banker is talked to by a person… honey catches Banker’s eye — banker gives her a thumbs up like this is all solved? It’s tweet
    • Missy Elliot shows up to the benefit late.
  • epilogue. FUCK
    • honey daniels dance something or other.
    • missy elliot shows up.
    • honey teaches a new dance for blaque
      • they have a music video again and honey daniels is credited as choreographer (like all choreographers are).
      • the last song says “i’m good without you.” i feel the same way about the movie. 
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